Therapy in Guelph Rooted in Self-Compassion
For people working on perfectionism and self-criticism
Therapy rooted in self-compassion works on the way we treat ourselves when things go wrong or differently than expected. If your inner voice sounds more demanding or critical, even when things go well, you’re in the right place. Maybe it shows up the minute you're alone, or at 2 a.m when you can't sleep, or even after you nailed a presentation but "could have done better."
Self-compassion is the practice of treating yourself gently, without judgment or criticism. It has three parts that you’ll work on:
Acknowledging when you're struggling or feeling badly about yourself without either dramatizing it or waving it off
Recognizing that struggling is part of being human, not proof that you’re “doing life wrong”
Talking to yourself with warmth, understanding, and kindness, the same way you’d talk to someone you love.
We won’t ask you to pretend things are fine or to talk yourself into being positive all the time. You can admit that something went badly and still be kind to yourself about it. Learning to do both at once is most of this therapy.
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Perfectionism, when good enough never feels good enough
Imposter syndrome, when you keep waiting to be “found out”
People-pleasing and the guilt that shows up when you put yourself first
Shame, especially the kind with a specific voice attached
Burnout
Grief
Parenting guilt
The running commentary in your head that never turns off
High sensitivity, when criticism lands harder to begin with
The critical voice(s) in your head came from somewhere, and they often sound like someone in particular. They also serve a purpose sometimes, like protecting us from perceived judgment or the risk of being rejected. Where those voices came from is part of what we’ll work on, because a critical voice in your head loses a lot of its authority once you realize what it’s doing, and you understand whose voice it really was.
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We’ll spend a lot of each session catching the critical voice while it’s talking. You might be describing something ordinary and the voice will show up mid-sentence, in a small comment like “which is ridiculous of me,” or in an eye-roll at your own feelings. We’ll stop there.
Then we’ll ask what it said, word for word, and whose voice it sounds like. We’ll also work out what it’s trying to protect you from (because, yes, it’s trying to protect you from something, whether real or imaginary).
Then you’ll answer it aloud, in your own words, while we’re there with you. Most people laugh or wince through the first few tries, and the words feel false at first. That fades with practice.
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Maybe part of you wants to keep the critical voice, because it feels like the reason you get anything done. You can start without settling that question, because together we’ll test whether the harshness helps you.
You will be practicing a kinder voice out loud before you believe a word of it. How much of that you do, and how quickly, is always your call.
Questions about self-compassion and therapy in Guelph
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No. Self-compassion doesn’t ignore accountability, so you’ll always stay honest about what went wrong. It’s simply kinder about what happened.
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A lot of people worry that the critical voice is what keeps them productive. Kristin Neff established self-compassion as a field of study with her research. You can read more about it on her website.
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No. Self-esteem depends on you doing well, so it disappears on the days you need it most. Self-compassion doesn’t need you to be doing well, which is why it’s still there on the bad days.
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From a real person or a real environment, at a time when sounding that way protected you. Your family and your earliest relationships are often part of that story, and we’ll spend time there too.
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Yes, Golden Horizons can meet virtually with you anywhere in Ontario or Alberta.
